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Monday, August 13, 2007

The Countdown Begins

More mommy blogging about the kids starting school...I can't help it. It's a big deal to me.

7 days. That's all I have left before the kids start school.

Should I mention the fact that DH and I have bickered a lot this week? It would be nice if I could just say it's because he's unreasonable and purposely persecuting me, but that wouldn't exactly be true. You can believe that if you want to. I have been so caught up in my own mind-- wondering about what to do now, if I should get a job immediately, if anyone will hire me, how will I find childcare, how will we afford childcare, if I do work how will I find time to do everything else, what would happen to the dog, who would let her out during the day, ....on and on it goes--that I have been irritable and off-kilter, leading to more exasperated sighs, eye-rollings, and sarcastic comments than usual. Sorry, DH.

It has been so long since I have really been able to make these kinds of choices that I am feeling lost and uncertain. I am 33 years old and still trying to figure out what to do with my life. I gave the last seven years over to a very important project and now it's coming to completion.

I have decided to take at least 2 months before beginning the Great Job Search. I just need some time to figure out what it is I really want to do with this next phase in my life. I am too old to spend my time working in a nowhere job just to make ends meet. I want my next step forward to be in a purposeful direction.

Now, if someone would just tell which direction I should head towards it would make things a whole lot easier.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

FWIW, your DH has been overwhelmed by all the same questions that have been going through your mind and has felt completely unable to figure everything out for you or "fix" things, as we guys like to do and as you wives hate us to try to do. He's also been sorely lacking in the understanding and patience department and hopes you can forgive him.

terri said...

FWIW....see....now, you're just making me feel dumb....because I have no idea what that is supposed to mean! :-)

Stop persecuting me! LOL