Blog Linking

I had my first request to exchange links with another blog.

It fills me with mixed emotions.

Initially, I was flattered, patting myself on the back that I was so witty and thoughtful and good-looking and perfect in every way. I mean, who could not want to link to me, right? There are probably thousands of bloggers just dying for the chance to be associated with me. They just are too intimidated by my overwhelming, blogging brilliance to actually approach me. We must give the people what they want. Millions are languishing without the chaotic, random, and utterly mundane writing featured here. They need a Wheat Among Tares infusion...STAT! (i don't really know what stat means when they say that on medical shows...it seem to mean right now ...but then why not say now?...less letters, same amount of syllables....is it just an ego trip to indicate that now is too common to be used by someone who has spent $100,000 dollars on a medical degree?....but anyway)

So, I guess I will venture into the whole linking blogs, please come visit my site, notice me, notice me, notice me neuroses that was bound to overtake me at some point. Why fight it? It's for the good of the people.

Then, I started thinking about how I would decide who to link to. I don't want a free-for-all here. I came up with a few preliminary rules.

1. No links to blogs about how to murder your family in their sleep.
2. No links to blogs whining about the unfairness of unrequited, teenage love. Especially if you're not actually a teenager yourself....because then instead of simply being whiny.....you're creepy.
3. No links to blogs that are clearly written only when the medication wears off.
4. No links to blogs about how the government is secretly in cahoots with the face-sucking aliens that are covertly running the world from the confines of Area 51...sorry Rosie. (see #3)
5. No links to blogs in which the blogger seems unable to put together a sentence without using f@#! at least 100 times. (see #3)
6. If naked people are prominently featured...sorry..no link...unless it's really funny...nope, not even then.
7. If your blog is really just a series of long, depressing ramblings about your hate for the world and everyone in it...no link. (see #3)
8. If you secretly mock me on your blog...no link...I have family for that.

So, if your blog can make it through the gauntlet of strict guidelines set forth in the above rules, leave me a comment and we'll see what we can do.

*said blogger makes no guarantee, warranty or promises to feature prospective bloggers. offer expires 5/23/2009. Rules not applicable in Hawaii, Uzbekistan, and Greenland.
No purchase necessary....though one would be greatly appreciated.