Thursday, April 05, 2007

Me, On A Diet...sort of

Well, my enthusiasm for trying to lose weight and become more healthy has waned a little, but I am still headed in the right direction. I am in my "warm-up" phase as I like to think of it. I have switched to whole wheat/grain and begun to exercise on a daily basis, which has been sad in a way. As I got up the first morning after working out, I realized how completely out of shape I was. Very. Very. Pathetic.

You, On A Diet focuses most of its attention on eating correctly in order to get your body to function better and more naturally and easily lose weight. Avoiding sugar and, more importantly, high fructose corn syrup is emphasized as essential to getting your body's blood sugar and hormonal output to regulate itself more efficiently.

That, my friends, is where I have stalled out. I think I can finally admit this now.

Hi. I'm Terri and I'm a sugarholic.

It all started when I was a wee child being lured behind the bleachers to partake in an illegal Hostess cupcake. Or, maybe it was those school fundraisers that require you to take home a case of M&M's to sell. I lost a lot of my allowance in that deal.

Either way, I slowly evolved into a sugar fiend looking for my next hit. I spiralled into deviant behavior, stealing Halloween candy from my kids, saving the bigger piece of cake for myself, hocking my future health for a quick candy bar high.

I would tell myself all the normal lies:

  • I can stop any time...really.

  • It's not my fault.

  • I will never eat a whole bag of Chips Ahoy again.

  • Problem? I don't have a problem.

  • I'll do better tomorrow.

  • It's not that big of a deal.

The problem with a sugar addiction is that everyone's always a dealer. They don't hide in back alleys or dark parking lots quickly handing you a bag of pure cane sugar as you nervously throw cash at them. Instead, they show up at family gatherings, church functions, and school "parties" that are really just mini-recruitment seminars for new addicts and dealers. Every holiday becomes a bender as I freebase chocolate, jelly beans, or Christmas cookies. It's a dark, dark world people.

I keep waiting for them to make a gripping, Oscar-winning movie about the suburban housewife's life and death struggle with this vicious demon. Heck, I'd watch I long as I got to eat some Milk Duds in the blackness of the movie theater.

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