Lately, I have been thinking about the purpose of this blog and if I should continue blogging.
Why do I blog?
1. It fills the time.
That isn't to say that I have tons of free time and have nothing better to do. Actually, my schedule is always helter skelter. I am frequently in and out of the house picking up kids from various schools with different schedules. Throw in the dog, the house, and the endless errands, cleaning, and planning that goes into creating a home and raising two rambunctious boys, and there isn't much time left. Usually, I blog or surf the net while I am in the middle of cooking and waiting for something to be done. I might update something while I am waiting for the laundry to finish drying, or for my son to complete his homework before I look it over. So, I spend a lot of time online, but it is usually in spurts here and there throughout the day. There are few other things that I can do in these brief time periods. If I am blogging and need to immediately stop, I can save it and finish it later.
2. I have enjoyed writing.
Even though my blog doesn't always delve into the deep issues of life, or brim over with incredible creativity, organizing and expressing my thoughts gives me a certain pleasure. It has been good practice and makes me want to improve my rusty writing skills.
3. I do it just for me.
It's fun to have a record of cute things that my kids said or did. Looking over old posts, remembering something that I had forgotten, is fun in a narcissistic kind of way.
So, why stop?
Well, there have been many times that I have started to blog about something and even gone so far as actually write the post, only to remember a prescient verse from Matthew.
"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgement."(NKJV)
Does this mean that I am fearful that God is going to smash me into smithereens if I go too far off course? Not exactly. However, it does remind me that we are to weigh our words carefully. There is no good purpose to spouting off or going into the full-on "blog-vent" that seems to make up much of the blogosphere. It isn't beneficial to me or anybody else.
Also, anyone with a sitemeter or stat counter knows that wondering if you have an audience, and what brings the most visitors to your site, can become a little obsessive. Let's face it, everyone who blogs likes to get comments and wants other people to respond to their writing. Keeping in check the desire to write posts to attract visitors can be difficult. It seems self-aggrandizing. Plus, I hate marketing, hype, and self-promotion. So, when I feel this pernicious motivation sneak in, it makes my insides squeamish.
Blogging in and of itself has not diminished my spiritual life, but the accompanying drive to hope that people notice me, or like what I have to say, really plays into a set of desires that are not beneficial to me or spiritual life in general. The narcissism that can creep in is subtle, but very captivating. It becomes easy to let your thoughts dwell on this cyber-life that really isn't real.
So, I think I am going to take a few days off and re-evaluate what I want out of blogging and if I should even continue.
See you later.