Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Pre-Op

I just got back from my pre-op appointment at the hospital.

Only 4 more days of denial to get through before reality tries to crash its way into my life. Although, I might get an extra day of anaesthesia-induced denial. I'm sure I'll be sleeping it off for the most part on Monday and Tuesday.

Through many years of experience the hospital has engineered a flawless method for pre-op. You check in, get a special cell phone, and sit in the cushy waiting chairs. They give you paperwork to fill out, I think as a ploy to keep you busy. None of the questions seem to be important and are accessible in triplicate on all their other records. They don't really need you to write your name and birthday one more time. They could just as easily ask about your hobbies, favorite pets, or even the old-school standby--an essay All About Me. I had to write that at the beginning of every school year from kindergarten through the 12th grade. The point is to keep you busy.

After a short time, a very nice lady calls you on the cell-phone and directs you to a soundproof room. Now you're dealing with The Banker, from Deal, or No Deal, waiting to find out how much you have to pay the hospital before they deign to cut you open. The soundproofing keeps the unsuspecting visitors from hearing the blood-curdling screams and gasps of shock. The Plexiglas window, behind the patient's seat, allows security to see the very nice lady being strangled by the patient. Hopefully, they'll put down their coffee and rescue her.

$1500 deductible.

yikes.

Luckily, I am good at being a total hypocrite and am welcoming the government's "rebate" check. It's going to pay that deductible for us. So, our country will go into debt for us, rather than us personally having to go into debt. I'm just going to think of it as the prelude to our future national health care system. Thanks GWB and Congress. If you could just put it on our Health Reimbursement Account next time, that would be great.

All in all, the hospital staff is quite nice; even the ones asking for our money.

Now, it's just a matter of getting through the next few days without becoming too anxious. I'll be kept busy this weekend because we're having a bowling birthday party for The Rationalist. It's a few days early for his birthday, but I wanted to be able to celebrate with him while I was feeling well. Preparing for the party will help me keep my mind off things.

Plus, I love to bowl!

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