Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Cinderella's Apprentice

I spent yesterday cleaning the carpets and upholstery in our house.  I still haven't managed to get rid of the Great Butter Stain of Christmas 2007. DH accidently dripped a line of melted butter 4 feet long onto the carpet while helping bring food to the table. Kind wife that I am, I never mention it to DH, except for every time I vacuum...or we're having company come over, or it's a month with 31 days.

I clean it...it comes back. I scrub it...it comes back. I unleash onto it a payload from my chemical arsenals....it comes back. I twirl in circles while chanting Native American spells and burning incense, or is that my cooking?....it comes back.

I feel like I'm Lady MacBeth, shouting,"Out, damned spot!"

or

like I am trying to rid myself of Georgiana's birthmark.

See how useful my English degree turned out to be? I can think of obscure parallels about my housecleaning. I'm so glad I spent thousands upon thousands of dollars becoming edumacated.

It really takes the sting out o' my drudgery.

4 comments:

Retriever said...

Then again, you could look at it, the way I look at my engagement ring. Every time you get cross at the dear husband for something, look at ring or spot and think of the love behind it. A man who fetches and carries is worth his weight in melted butter....(tired chuckle)

DH said...

*lol* I like this Retriever guy more and more.... :o)

Assistant Village Idiot said...

My cure is more cynical. Visit other couples. Remark on the way home that you're glad you aren't married to either one of them.

Buz said...

Actually, the best way to get butter out of a carpet is with lighter-fluid.

Take everything out of the dining room. Soak the stain with about 4 oz. of lighter-fluid. Allow it to set for about 3 minutes. Soak it again with another 2 oz. of lighter fluid and then immediately touch it with a match. The new carpet will not have a butter stain.

Buz