Why Can't I Be a Dictator?

My in-laws are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a few weeks.

No big party, just a weekend with their two childrens' families.

The "supposed" gift for the 4oth is listed as "rubies".

Rubies.

Yeah, well that's not happening unless I can get my MIL some ruby lipstick, and my FIL a ruby tie.

We want do something special for them, but they are the type of people that already have everything they want and refuse to give ideas about what else they might like: "Oh...you don't have to get us anything. Just being here will be enough."

I came up with the fabulous idea that we should hire a photographer to come out and take a large family portrait of all of us together. I know that my MIL has wanted to do a casual version of this in the past, but something always went wrong, or there were always other extended family/in laws at family gatherings. And how do you tell other people you don't really want them in the family photo?

Anyway....so I have this great idea....and now I am running headlong into one of my personality quirks whereby I am annoyed when other people interject complications into a project I am working on.

Trying to include my SIL in the process, has created "discussion" that I didn't anticipate.

Debates about which photographer to use. Debates about which day to have the photos taken. Debates about whether we should tell them we are doing this. Debates about how maybe this is too complicated and we should do something else.

And I know that when I tell my MIL...it will continue the process. I will have to listen to her tell me how we shouldn't spend the money, or how she wants to pay for it, or how we shouldn't have gone to such trouble.

And I will have to bite my tongue with my in-laws, who I love very much, but who annoy me when they won't let us do a simple thing for them.

Life would be so much easier if everyone would simply do what I wanted them to without arguing about it!

:-)