That's good, right?
Although, I came close to having to kill someone today. I could feel the irritation slowly tingle into my hands as I contemplated throttling two school administrators this morning. Just a few fingers around their throats and squeeze. It'll all be over soon enough.
OK.
Maybe that's a little melodramatic.
However, there's nothing like completely unexpected and unwarranted rudeness to make my blood boil. At which point I have to pretend like I don't really care that I am being personally insulted for no apparent reason. Smile. Nod. Speak in a voice that doesn't betray how annoying I find the other person. Smile again.
That usually works to disarm the situation, but these two administrators were having nothing of my diplomacy. Instead, they just continued with disdainful attitudes.
So, what happened?
My partner and I arrived at a school to perform our presentation, just as we do every day. We signed in and were led by a very nice lady to the cafeteria, the space reserved for our performance. The audience would consist of eighty fourth graders; a large group for only having one performance time, but not too out of the ordinary.
Once there, it was obvious that the school had not prepared for our show. They had not cleared out any space for our stage, props, or an area for the kids to be seated and the show was supposed to start in less than 20 minutes. This happens frequently, so we asked the administrator, who had been waiting for us in the cafeteria, if the custodian could move some of the tables and chairs while we set up.
and....let the rudeness begin:
"Why would we do that?"
"um...what do you mean?"
"You don't need that much space. You can set up here." --she points to a space that is about 10ft by 10ft.
"Actually, we need a larger space in order to seat all of the students so that they will be able to see the show. If they are too far past the edge of our stage, they won't be able to see anything. They also will be able to see us behind the stage while we switch out props and puppets."
"This is ridiculous! They can just sit in the chairs at the tables!"
Taken aback by her sudden annoyance at being asked to move some tables, I pause for a moment, take a breath, and try again to explain calmly.
"Well, the tables can only seat a few students. If they sit at the tables at the very back of the cafeteria, they won't be able to hear us, and we won't be able to hear them when we get to the Q&A part of the show. Also, the tables at the ends of the cafeteria are so far over, they won't even be able to see the show. Normally, we have a large open area to count off the students and seat them in rows."
"Seat them in rows? Are you kidding me?! This is just crazy!" She shakes her head and throws up her hands in frustration.
Administrator #2 walks in during the conversation and has decided to throw her lot in with Administrator #1:
"Is this the first year you've done this? We have had this show for years, and we have never had to do this before!"
My partner jumps in, very calmly:
"We have been trained to set things up this way to make sure that all the students will be able to see and participate."
more eye-rolling, more head shaking, more under-their breath comments that were very audible, more muttering to themselves as they ask the custodian to move 4 tables.
The problem was that 4 tables wasn't going to be enough for us to set up and have room for the kids. We tried, very nicely, to explain how the show worked, and what we were doing, only to be glared at.
"Seriously, have you ever done this before? We have never, never had to do this before!" says Administrator #2.
"We are only trying to set things up the way we have been trained to set up by our boss who has worked in, and run the program, for 13 years."
I emphasize 13 years at this point because I'm starting to get tired of the uncalled for attitude and rudeness from people who asked for us to come to their school, only to treat us poorly. I am truly perplexed. Why would a school schedule performers, and then treat them as if they are imposing on the school by being there? Why would they bring guests into their school and personally insult them by questioning their abilities? Why would they, upon being told that certain needs must be met for the show to work, refuse and basically tell the performers,"No...you don't need that?"
And remember, this is all over moving a few tables....that have wheels on them.....and that fold in half...for easy storage and movement. It took all of 5 minutes.
aarrghhh...
If it weren't for the fact that it would have reflected badly upon my boss, and the non-profit I work for, I totally would have called them out for taking it to such a personal, insulting level. Their comments were completely inappropriate, uncalled for, and lacking in professionalism.
Sigh.
Oh, the things I could have said and didn't. I should really get some sort of prize. 8-)
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
One Last Nail in the Coffin
heh.
Today was the Sunday that we help out in the children's ministry at the church we attend. We do that once a month to help fill in areas that have people missing. It's an easy way to contribute without requiring too much of us right now. We have been on the fence about delving more into ministry here as a result of our ambivalence about our place here.
For the past week or so I have been thinking that we should just grow where we're planted, and try to forge ahead to find/make a place for ourselves in this church, to strengthen our ties to it and begin to develop relationships. Now, I'm ready to chuck that idea out the window.
We have been here for over two years, mainly because this is where we landed after leaving a church that we dearly loved. We searched around, found this church to be a close fit theologically-speaking and settled in to lick our wounds. The wounds are just about cleared up, but my interest for this particular church has grown no stronger.
So, what's the problem? Is it me? Am I simply a whiner and complainer? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. It's hard to evaluate whether it's me, or the church, or simply the combination of the two.
I have come to realize that philosophically I have completely divergent views on what the purpose of a church is and how to achieve that purpose. I agree with almost all of the theology of this church. I have much in common with its members. There is no glaring spiritual issue pushing me out the door.....at least from a superficial perspective. So what's the deal?
Here's the deal:
All of the ministry choices and administration are dictated, perhaps subconsciously, by the size of this church. There is no Sunday School or Bible Study offered on Sunday mornings because the church is filled to capacity for the two services that are offered. People come for the service and then leave, making room for the next round. Instead, the church pushes cell groups, called Life Groups, as a way to build relationship and community within the church.
It sounds great, but it is completely incompatible with our lives. It involves finding child care for the kids and meeting in someone's home on a weeknight. We have no budget for childcare, and DH works into the evening, past the time that most groups meet.
Which brings me to another philosophical difference I have with this church. Everybody is separated. Sunday mornings, adults go into the main sanctuary, elementary students are in the old sanctuary, the youth has their own service, and the middle school does too. So everybody is separated into their own demographic and participates in a service geared specifically for them. Great, right? Not in my opinion.
What do we teach our children about the community of believers when they are never interacting with anybody other than their specific group? Families don't worship together. Other than Christmas Eve, our kids have rarely seen us sing and pray with the corporate body of the church. When the service is over we pick them up from their area, amidst a million other families, and go our merry way. I don't know the other children in my kids' classes, let alone their parents. After two years, isn't that pathetic? How can our children forge friendships with other Christian children if there is no time to get to know them? How can they see other families which share our same values in such an environment? They can't.
When people are baptized, the main sanctuary gets the feed showing it--it occurs outside in a baptismal fountain...remember, this is Florida where it's warm--but the kids, youth, etc. never see it. This is an important ceremony and is only celebrated by a partial congregation. It is a missed opportunity for the children. Instead of seeing people making life-changing decisions, they're doing business as usual.
Today we stayed for a church meeting which unveiled a plan for the church to go "multi-site". What that means is that, in another part of town, people would meet for church, watch a recorded DVD of the pastor's message, yet have their own worship band and "campus pastor".
The idea is to produce pretty much the same church, in a different location, through the use of technology.
We actually visited a church like this once. It was truly bizarre. The church went along as it normally would, except when it came time for the sermon. A white screen was then lowered down and we viewed a recording of the pastor at the main church campus speak. It was like being stuck in a theater watching a bad movie....and with no popcorn.
During the Q and A, I asked why the church was going in this direction instead of just starting an autonomous church plant as a sister/associated church. The pastor said it was a great question and proceeded to answer me with a not-so-great answer. Church plants fail 85% of the time. DH said later that a good follow-up question would have been to ask what percentage of "multi-site" campuses fail.
So why do I care?
I care because it shows that the church is committed to doing church in a very specific type of way. I excused a lot before simply because of the size of the church and the space constraints. Even though I knew it wasn't super-compatible with our family, I was willing to take what was offered because it was what it was. Now, it has become evident that, not only does this church run things this way because they have to, but because they prefer this model.
It's discouraging. I have never felt so out of touch with the way church is done. It seems to consistently rely upon convenience and technology instead of community and fellowship--the two things needed most by myself and many others.
Teaching I can get anywhere. Community....now that's something that is in short supply.
Today was the Sunday that we help out in the children's ministry at the church we attend. We do that once a month to help fill in areas that have people missing. It's an easy way to contribute without requiring too much of us right now. We have been on the fence about delving more into ministry here as a result of our ambivalence about our place here.
For the past week or so I have been thinking that we should just grow where we're planted, and try to forge ahead to find/make a place for ourselves in this church, to strengthen our ties to it and begin to develop relationships. Now, I'm ready to chuck that idea out the window.
We have been here for over two years, mainly because this is where we landed after leaving a church that we dearly loved. We searched around, found this church to be a close fit theologically-speaking and settled in to lick our wounds. The wounds are just about cleared up, but my interest for this particular church has grown no stronger.
So, what's the problem? Is it me? Am I simply a whiner and complainer? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. It's hard to evaluate whether it's me, or the church, or simply the combination of the two.
I have come to realize that philosophically I have completely divergent views on what the purpose of a church is and how to achieve that purpose. I agree with almost all of the theology of this church. I have much in common with its members. There is no glaring spiritual issue pushing me out the door.....at least from a superficial perspective. So what's the deal?
Here's the deal:
All of the ministry choices and administration are dictated, perhaps subconsciously, by the size of this church. There is no Sunday School or Bible Study offered on Sunday mornings because the church is filled to capacity for the two services that are offered. People come for the service and then leave, making room for the next round. Instead, the church pushes cell groups, called Life Groups, as a way to build relationship and community within the church.
It sounds great, but it is completely incompatible with our lives. It involves finding child care for the kids and meeting in someone's home on a weeknight. We have no budget for childcare, and DH works into the evening, past the time that most groups meet.
Which brings me to another philosophical difference I have with this church. Everybody is separated. Sunday mornings, adults go into the main sanctuary, elementary students are in the old sanctuary, the youth has their own service, and the middle school does too. So everybody is separated into their own demographic and participates in a service geared specifically for them. Great, right? Not in my opinion.
What do we teach our children about the community of believers when they are never interacting with anybody other than their specific group? Families don't worship together. Other than Christmas Eve, our kids have rarely seen us sing and pray with the corporate body of the church. When the service is over we pick them up from their area, amidst a million other families, and go our merry way. I don't know the other children in my kids' classes, let alone their parents. After two years, isn't that pathetic? How can our children forge friendships with other Christian children if there is no time to get to know them? How can they see other families which share our same values in such an environment? They can't.
When people are baptized, the main sanctuary gets the feed showing it--it occurs outside in a baptismal fountain...remember, this is Florida where it's warm--but the kids, youth, etc. never see it. This is an important ceremony and is only celebrated by a partial congregation. It is a missed opportunity for the children. Instead of seeing people making life-changing decisions, they're doing business as usual.
Today we stayed for a church meeting which unveiled a plan for the church to go "multi-site". What that means is that, in another part of town, people would meet for church, watch a recorded DVD of the pastor's message, yet have their own worship band and "campus pastor".
The idea is to produce pretty much the same church, in a different location, through the use of technology.
We actually visited a church like this once. It was truly bizarre. The church went along as it normally would, except when it came time for the sermon. A white screen was then lowered down and we viewed a recording of the pastor at the main church campus speak. It was like being stuck in a theater watching a bad movie....and with no popcorn.
During the Q and A, I asked why the church was going in this direction instead of just starting an autonomous church plant as a sister/associated church. The pastor said it was a great question and proceeded to answer me with a not-so-great answer. Church plants fail 85% of the time. DH said later that a good follow-up question would have been to ask what percentage of "multi-site" campuses fail.
So why do I care?
I care because it shows that the church is committed to doing church in a very specific type of way. I excused a lot before simply because of the size of the church and the space constraints. Even though I knew it wasn't super-compatible with our family, I was willing to take what was offered because it was what it was. Now, it has become evident that, not only does this church run things this way because they have to, but because they prefer this model.
It's discouraging. I have never felt so out of touch with the way church is done. It seems to consistently rely upon convenience and technology instead of community and fellowship--the two things needed most by myself and many others.
Teaching I can get anywhere. Community....now that's something that is in short supply.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Aaaaargghhh!
New job = enough money to comfortably meet our monthly budget and begin saving/paying down debt.
Copper pipes with crappy mineralized water = a $300 repair that also left a gaping hole in our masonry block and stucco house.
My first paycheck on 9/21 = money we'll never see.
Plumbing problems = completely frustrated me!
:-P
Copper pipes with crappy mineralized water = a $300 repair that also left a gaping hole in our masonry block and stucco house.
My first paycheck on 9/21 = money we'll never see.
Plumbing problems = completely frustrated me!
:-P
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Rant Against The Powers That Be.....
Dear Blogger,
Please, tell me why you hate me so?
Have I not been a good little blogger? Haven't I commented, linked, blogged about the miscellaneous thoughts within my head, and faithfully used your site?
So, why do you torment me when I try to comment? You make me retype all those word verifications repeatedly before accepting my comments. When I do comment, I have no power to edit my miscellaneous slip-ups. People will forever think that I am a bad speller and even worse grammarian. How will they be able to tell that I won all my elementary school spelling bees?
When I try to surf through miscellaneous blogs, you dump me repeatedly into "lookuplive"-a search engine in which I have no interest. Next, you mock me by sending me to "the bestestblog" whereupon my browser gets stuck in its nether world, refusing to let me go forward. When I finally get back to surfing, "Hot Bikini Girls" seem to repeatedly show up.
To add to my pain and suffering, when switching us all over to the "new" Blogger, you've replaced our template code with stuff that I really don't understand; widgets, b-stuff, etc. Now, I feel helpless and useless. The small amount of html, that I thought I knew, seems weak and puny to me now.
Also, you frequently screw up my formatting when I post pictures. You give us options when we're uploading, but they are really just a cruel joke. Even when I carefully format my text, you randomly jam it all together into some big block of stream-of-consciousness writing like Ulysses. I am not James Joyce. Please keep my paragraphs where I put them, and don't randomly space some of my text as 1.0 spacing and other portions as 1.5 spacing.
I hope you are satisfied with yourself. You've broken my heart. I think that we need to see other people.
Yours truly,
Frustrated Blogger
Please, tell me why you hate me so?
Have I not been a good little blogger? Haven't I commented, linked, blogged about the miscellaneous thoughts within my head, and faithfully used your site?
So, why do you torment me when I try to comment? You make me retype all those word verifications repeatedly before accepting my comments. When I do comment, I have no power to edit my miscellaneous slip-ups. People will forever think that I am a bad speller and even worse grammarian. How will they be able to tell that I won all my elementary school spelling bees?
When I try to surf through miscellaneous blogs, you dump me repeatedly into "lookuplive"-a search engine in which I have no interest. Next, you mock me by sending me to "the bestestblog" whereupon my browser gets stuck in its nether world, refusing to let me go forward. When I finally get back to surfing, "Hot Bikini Girls" seem to repeatedly show up.
To add to my pain and suffering, when switching us all over to the "new" Blogger, you've replaced our template code with stuff that I really don't understand; widgets, b-stuff, etc. Now, I feel helpless and useless. The small amount of html, that I thought I knew, seems weak and puny to me now.
Also, you frequently screw up my formatting when I post pictures. You give us options when we're uploading, but they are really just a cruel joke. Even when I carefully format my text, you randomly jam it all together into some big block of stream-of-consciousness writing like Ulysses. I am not James Joyce. Please keep my paragraphs where I put them, and don't randomly space some of my text as 1.0 spacing and other portions as 1.5 spacing.
I hope you are satisfied with yourself. You've broken my heart. I think that we need to see other people.
Yours truly,
Frustrated Blogger
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)