Monday, November 20, 2006

I have had a crazy, busy weekend. My business has been really doing well and I owe it all to God. He has really been faithful in meeting our needs in an exceptional way this month. With the way my business goes, it can be an emotional roller-coaster ride. Feast or famine are usually the two modes in which everything operates. For a very routine person like me, that can be very unsettling and frustrating. I frequently have to talk myself down from worry or speculation about worst-case scenarios.

I don't remember ever feeling this way when I was on my own and working my way through college. I never recall feeling anxious about whether I would have enough money to pay the bills, plan for my future, or get by in life. Life was definitely work at certain points, but my thoughts usually swirled around the concerns of the single:..will I ever meet "The One?"...what should I do with my life?......what career path should I take? With those things mostly settled in my life, I rarely think about them now.

Being a mother has raised up all sorts of scary thought patterns that you didn't know existed within you. When you hear a tragic news story you instantly can picture your child lying in a hostpital bed, kidnapped by a predator, or trapped in a burning car. It is just a split-second of a thought, but it can reduce a normally sane, practical person into a mound of tears. Empathy for strange mothers and their children can leap up move you in unexpected ways.

Having thoughts like this pop up are not necessarily bad, but I must remind myself of God's promises in order not to overly fret about the multitude of ways that disaster can strike. He always is faithful to His children, even in the midst of uncertainty.

No comments: