The last 48 hours have been spent in a crazy frenzy of life decisions and second-guessing. I have been contemplating returning to the traditional workforce. This would mean day care for my youngest child and after school care for my oldest. The sticker shock alone has kept me in a tizzy! It really is ridiculous the rates that are charged. After much hand-wringing and back forth conversations in my swirling head, I decided that I am unwilling to go back to work outside of the home. I just can't justify working 40 hours a week only to bring home a few hundred dollars at the end of the month after paying for child care, extra gas expenses, and proper working attire.
So....once again I make the commitment to make it at least 10 more months until both kids are in school. Sounds like an easy decision right? It's anything but. It requires me to entrust my fate and failing car to God to come through in a great way.
I shouldn't fret. He always is faithful and works things out. Still, why does each new trial bring back the temporary panic of " what am I going to DO?" After 15 years of following Him you'd think I would be a pro at it. And yet here I am again.....hoping against hope that things will work out. When haven't they?
Maybe I'm a little slow on the uptake.....it wouldn't be the first time! :-)