Today I was struggling with feeling very out of touch with God. I know that He is always there, ready and waiting for me to turn to him, but sometimes I feel so anesthetized by the busyness of my life and my daily responsibilities, that it's hard to cut through the fog and sense His presence.
On the way to pick up my son from pre-K, I put an old Out of The Grey cd into the player and listened. Wow, it took me back to those first new years of my faith, when my only wish was to know God more. It seemed so easy then to focus on God and spend time with Him. Now, from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed there is always somebody or something vying for my attention.
I am grateful for my husband, sons and even the dog, but I resent feeling like my time is not my own. I can no longer sit quietly and listen to music while I read or pray. There is always someone there or something that needs to be done. I miss the solitude of my single life....the ability to get away when I needed to. I wouldn't trade what I have now for anything, but I wish I were better at figuring out how to get that ability to have solitude back.