Me, On A Diet...sort of

Well, my enthusiasm for trying to lose weight and become more healthy has waned a little, but I am still headed in the right direction. I am in my "warm-up" phase as I like to think of it. I have switched to whole wheat/grain and begun to exercise on a daily basis, which has been sad in a way. As I got up the first morning after working out, I realized how completely out of shape I was. Very. Very. Pathetic.

You, On A Diet focuses most of its attention on eating correctly in order to get your body to function better and more naturally and easily lose weight. Avoiding sugar and, more importantly, high fructose corn syrup is emphasized as essential to getting your body's blood sugar and hormonal output to regulate itself more efficiently.

That, my friends, is where I have stalled out. I think I can finally admit this now.

Hi. I'm Terri and I'm a sugarholic.

It all started when I was a wee child being lured behind the bleachers to partake in an illegal Hostess cupcake. Or, maybe it was those school fundraisers that require you to take home a case of M&M's to sell. I lost a lot of my allowance in that deal.

Either way, I slowly evolved into a sugar fiend looking for my next hit. I spiralled into deviant behavior, stealing Halloween candy from my kids, saving the bigger piece of cake for myself, hocking my future health for a quick candy bar high.

I would tell myself all the normal lies:

• I can stop any time...really.

• It's not my fault.

• I will never eat a whole bag of Chips Ahoy again.

• Problem? I don't have a problem.

• I'll do better tomorrow.

• It's not that big of a deal.

The problem with a sugar addiction is that everyone's always a dealer. They don't hide in back alleys or dark parking lots quickly handing you a bag of pure cane sugar as you nervously throw cash at them. Instead, they show up at family gatherings, church functions, and school "parties" that are really just mini-recruitment seminars for new addicts and dealers. Every holiday becomes a bender as I freebase chocolate, jelly beans, or Christmas cookies. It's a dark, dark world people.

I keep waiting for them to make a gripping, Oscar-winning movie about the suburban housewife's life and death struggle with this vicious demon. Heck, I'd watch it....as I long as I got to eat some Milk Duds in the blackness of the movie theater.

*%$^#$@!! Scale

A vicious creature lurks in my bathroom. Seeming innocuous and inert, it strikes without warning. It's my bathroom scale. There is something masochistic about a woman owning a scale. After all, most of the time when we step on it and dare to look at the numbers, we step off feeling frustrated, depressed and ravenous...where did I put those cookies? It is an exercise of self-flagellation most of the time.

Well, last week this nasty vermin of a device lunged at me with a reading that I definitely did not like. I hadn't weighed myself for a while because the digital scale had been acting quirky; sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. I had replaced the batteries twice, so I knew that the scale had bigger problems. One last time, I tried to use it. It worked. I stepped on and blinked my eyes in shock. It couldn't be right. I could not have possibly gained 3 pounds in two weeks. I don't remember eating cheesecake and pizza, or drowning my thirst with milkshakes, but I knew the reading was true. My pants did feel a little more snug than usual. Depression. Gloom. Despair. Stupid scale.

So, seeing as this is the most I have ever weighed in my life--and no, I will not tell you how much that is, I can barely handle the number myself--I went to Wal-Mart, bought a new scale, A couple of work-out T-shirts, and a book....You, On A Diet.

Dr. Oz, one of the authors, frequently appears on Oprah to discuss health and diet related issues. I had actually seen the episode in which he and Dr. Roizen, the other author, had promoted the book and talked about some of the principles in the book. Dr. Roizen also has a PBS special dealing with the same things in a little more detail.

When I was younger, losing weight was all about about looking pretty. I enjoyed working out, buying clothes, and feeling put-together. Now, as I get closer to my mid-thirties, I am thinking more and more about my health. I have slowly gained weight since becoming a stay-at-home mom. Being around food all day, preparing every meal, and being less active have all made me weigh more than my pregnancy weight....which wasn't really bad for being pregnant, but is totally not cool when you don't have another human being living inside of you.

So, I have had it. I have to stop this slow creeping weight gain or I'll eventually be past the 200 or 300(given enough time) mark. My husband always laughs when I say that. I don't think he really believes that's possible. But, given that I weigh about 30 pounds more than when we got married, almost ten years ago, I could completely see that happening. But, I am not going to let it happen.

I won't chronicle every experience on my blog, but I do have some more to say about the book and will check in once in a while.