tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33818852.post7991460163442865323..comments2023-10-21T23:57:46.155-04:00Comments on Wheat Among Tares: Deathterrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12399706958844399216noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33818852.post-85607966972770316732009-11-14T21:00:41.555-05:002009-11-14T21:00:41.555-05:00Retriever,
He died over a year ago. Luckily, I di...Retriever,<br /><br />He died over a year ago. Luckily, I did not have to find him. That would have been way more traumatizing. He lived 3 hours away from us, so the police from his town called and let me know what had happened.<br /><br />However, because of the way things happened it was a very disorienting experience. We never saw him.....and that's a good thing.....but it was strange. His death was so sudden, and then never actually "seeing" him made it seem surreal.<br /><br />I kept having dreams where he would knock at my door and be like,"Hey....I'm not dead. What did you guys do with all my stuff? "<br /><br />Also....it complicated everything greatly. When a person is not discovered quickly, it doesn't take long for them to decompose. The longer the amount of the time, the worse the effects. We had to have special biological cleaners clean the house. WE had to dispose of virtually everything and have the carpet ripped up because the odor seeps into everything......and there is no mistaking that odor for anything else.<br /><br />It's why when the whole Casey Anthony case was going on and her mother called 911 saying that the trunk of her car smelled like death.....I knew Caylee was gone. <br /><br />People who have been exposed to that smell know what it is as soon as they come across it.<br /><br />I'm actually OK with things now. I still hate that it had to happen that way. It was a weird coincidence of timing and events that allowed for that much time to pass after his death. <br /><br />When I hear news stories about these types of things happening it always brings it back to my mind.<br /><br />It did open up my eyes more to all of those biblical references of "corruption" and "destruction".<br /><br />I am sorry that you have lost both of your parents.....and having to see your mom in such a strange state.<br /><br />I don't think we can help but try and preserve the people we knew. It's a natural urg.....like the Egyptians and Maya?(I forget). Burying people with precious articles and adorned with jewelry or masks.....it seems nearly universal.<br /><br />Our way of keeping what we have left of people.terrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12399706958844399216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33818852.post-42338749930839335532009-11-13T21:34:40.116-05:002009-11-13T21:34:40.116-05:00Agree. And also, we Americans are so obsessively ...Agree. And also, we Americans are so obsessively clean, deodorized, and contained that the physicality of illness and death scare us even to see them. Let alone smell or touch... <br /><br />I am so sorry for you that you found out about his death at such a delay. Was it just recently, or when? <br /><br />I had just been talking with a friend whose mother is very ill about some fragments of memories of when my dad was dying, and how he would shudder with cold and pain from the exertion of trying to get from the bed to the sunny armchair near the window. At the time I was completely freaked out seeing my once tall, powerful Daddy reduced to an emaciated, agonized weak patient. It was the physical weakness that terrified me, because as a Dad he had loomed so tall, dark and handsome in my childhood (the handsome Naval reserve officer back from his time on exercises). In fact, he stayed pretty much indomitable, brave, and upbeat mentally until near the last days, and it was the contrast of suffering body and strong will that was so disconcerting. <br /><br />I wonder now if some of that same disconnect and outrage doesn't come into play with facing the reality as opposed to the sappified gloss over the Crucifixion. Vulnerability and strength of purpose coexisting. One wants to say with Peter "No, absolutely not, I won't let this happen, you were made for better things..."<br /><br />I can't imagine what it must have been like for you right after you found out. Did you find him? <br /><br />All those Biblical passages on Death as a destroyer, a thief, a corrupter, have far more meaning in light of what you describe. Also, your reflections helped bring alive more of what the Lazarus story must have been about. REmember the practical sister saying "But by now he stinketh..." <br /><br />ON the other hand, the most ghastly sight of death I ever had wasn't when working in hospitals, but when my mother died. My sister was ill in hospital herself and somehow managed to call the funeral parlor and insist they do a lavish and tacky pink satin ruffle lined open coffin and garish makeup and clothes on my mom. Nobody in my family has ever had anything except a plain pine box and/or cremation. WE don't do viewings. Chiefly because everyone in the family would rather the kids and grandchildren got the money that would otherwise have been spent on coffin, etc. Seeing my mother full of plastic preservatives and orangey was worse than seeing her dead without all that stuff. <br /><br />But it must have been far, far worse for you coping with someone who had been just there undisvoered that long since death. <br /><br />So sorry...Retrieverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09036341287285545932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33818852.post-82727817052320185192009-11-13T18:55:29.759-05:002009-11-13T18:55:29.759-05:00I think you are right that our distance from death...I think you are right that our distance from death impairs our understanding of the Scriptures. We make them neat and inoffensive as well, our hearts aflutter for the baby Jesus, Mary's clean robe, and all the washed animals in the spacious barn.<br /><br />We just don't get it. And at some level, we choose not to get it.Assistant Village Idiothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01978011985085795099noreply@blogger.com